Brian pointed out to me this morning that this was my fourth mother's day as a mom. Wow! I actually have one kid per year too. It was very cute. He got me a card from each girl so I had 5 cards to open this morning. He learned his lesson after I was so sad about not getting any birthday cards.
I am currently spending my Mother's Day at Panera so I can enjoy some quiet and get some work done. Seems kind of strange to me, almost like I should want to spend the day with the girls enjoying being a mom, but after this morning full of cranky, crabby, and wild girls, I was all too ready to escape.
This leads me to the current dilema or confusion I have been having. I love my girls more than anything and I still smile when they smile. I love doing things with them like playing in the yard or singing "Wheels on the Bus." I don't love being with them all of the time though. I miss work. I miss being around adults, and I miss feeling like there is more to me than being mommy. I know I am fortunate that I can work from home and that I can be with them, but sometimes I want more. Does this make me selfish? Maybe. Does this make me wise? Maybe. Does this make me a bad mom? I don't think so.
I will continue to grapple with this I know for a long time. Where is the line between me and being a mom? How much do I have to give of myself or better yet, how much am I allowed to take for myself? I will let you know when I figure out the answer.
On a lighter note though, here are the things I love most about my girls:
Anna--so funny, so bright, so imaginative, so creative, knows her own mind
Sarah--so goofy, so quick to laugh, so loving
Lucy--can be so silly, yet so serious, loves to read, makes the funniest faces, knows what she wants and will get it
Emily--so sweet, smiles so easily, tries so hard to keep up with her sisters, so cuddly
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